January 27, 2013

• Just Remember to Breathe

  My little princess turned 4 months old today. I had mentally planned out an entire blog entry to recap, highlight and share her little life's journey so far. All this complete with photos of my little cutie patooey.

  Unfortunately, as with many mums with a new baby, life got in the way. I woke up with a pounding headache and as the day progressed Esmerelda got really fussy and cranky. Nothing but being held and having a cool teething ring to gnaw on soothed her. All attempts to lay her down so I could take a quick bathroom break, or grab a quick few minutes to heat up something to eat, or laying her down to change her diapers were met with ear piercing screams. These screams went on and off all afternoon and well into the night. I often wonder if my neighbours have gotten tired of her screams and are starting to blacklist me as a neighbour from hell. Worse, what if they thought that I was abusing or torturing my little girl and contemplated calling social services on me.

  I had to constantly remind myself to breathe as Esmerelda struggled and fought me as I tried to change her diapers all the while screaming her head off till her face was turning red. It's not her fault. Nope not at all. She was feeling really crappy because her gums were bugging her and the only way she could communicate to me that she was in pain. I tried all ways and means to comfort her. I bounced her in my lap. Made goofy faces to try to make her laugh. Read to her, which always calms her down. Watched Sesame Street and sing her favourite songs to her. She would calm down, smile, and laugh for a brief moment before scrunching up her face and scream again.

  Personally, nothing hurts me more than when I am unable comfort and soothe my little girl. She was not able to settle down for the night so I resorted to giving her a dose of infant tylenol a couple of hours ago so that she could get some relief from the pain. I held her while reading one of her favourite books and I noticed she was a little bit more calm than she had been all day. I fed her after we had read the book twice and she slowly drifted off to sleep in my arms. I waited a while more before I put her down on the bed and she has been asleep ever since. 

  SIGH.

  It has been a rough day. 

  Though, tomorrow is a new day and it can only be a better day.

  • 2:02 am
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