January 14, 2013
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Bathroom Time is my Thinking Time
The things I think about while sitting on the john. Maybe it is because time in the bathroom is the only time I have some me time to myself or maybe my mummy brain works in very funny ways. Anyways, here's what jumped into my mind the other night. I have an image of a lady I would hope and like Ezzy to grow up to be, however, who am I kidding??! Of course she is going to grow up to be someone she wants to be and it will most certainly be a big opposite of what I had hoped for. At this point, I got annoyed at the future grown up Ezzy before smacking myself mentally as I was in future Ezzy's position. I had my own ideas of how I would like to be as a person which clashed a lot with what my dad had expected of me.
Even though Ezzy is only 15 weeks old, I'm already struggling with my own expectations of her with the need to give her the freedom to be who she wants to be .... provided she is a sensible and responsible human being with high levels of common sense. See what just happened there? I remind myself that she will be her own person and I want to enable her to make her own choices, but then I go and add a clause to how she can and should go about making those choices. It's giving her freedom within certain limitations.
Am I the only parent out there that is trying to grasp the concept of encouraging your child to be whoever they want to be and secretly hoping that they will listen to what you want them to be? Am i the only parent who battles with trying to strike a harmonious balance of being a parent (setting limitations) and allowing your child to be who they want to be?
Don't get me wrong. I want her to be happy. Though, I'm definitely going to be one big emotional wreck when she starts to learn how to talk and will be able to express her feelings and thoughts.
So... erm... Are my thoughts making sense to you or are these thoughts only making sense to me in my confused, babbling mummy mind...?